The more I learn, the more ignorant I feel

I have been overwhelmed today by a feeling of insignificance. There is so much I want to do and see, so much I want to learn, and the more I do see and learn, the more I realize how much more is out there! I'm sure many of you can empathize with this. I keep meeting people who speak three or four languages and realize how painfully lacking my french is after 4 years of training. Or people who have been all over the world and think how I have only seen about 5 percent of it. It makes one feel so small.

At the same time, I am so grateful for how much I have lived. The things that God has given me; the people he's sent into my path...I can't even think of it without smiling.

Speaking of which, I wanted to write a quick note about my grandpa. Many of you know how scary last week was for all of us, and I am happy beyond words to report that he is doing much better (although please keep him and all of us in your prayers). But this week has also snapped into focus the gift that this man has been in my life. Papa, if you are reading this, please know that I could never ever write enough to honor you sufficiently for all you have done for me (the same goes to you Mimi). You have both been so wonderful. The many memories of gifts of dried sweet fruits, playing airplane on your knees, building our treehouse (as we all "helped"), you chasing us with your electric razor early in the morning to get us out of bed; trips to disneyland and Colorado, precious bible stories read in soothing voice, ham and cheese omlets early christmas morning, piggy back rides, tractor rides, and sled rides as we all tackled you in the snow; these and so many other memories are so precious to me. You are more to me than what I can say. I can't wait to see you both again and give you a giant hug (:

This is just one precious exmaple of the people and memories that God has enriched my life with. You are all so precious to me.

I think I have moved beyond my excitement stage.
They talked about this in orientation--that there was the initial "honeymoon" stage of the transition which would be short-lived. I didn't really believe it (how could Paris be anything other than completely wonderful?), but I think I see what they're saying now. Once you have sunk into your routine, the glimmer of the city begins to fade. The Eiffel tower still stands, the Sacre Couer remains hovering over the city...but the lens has changed. there is no longer the romantic haze of the dream; you begin to see Paris for what it really is--and this is when you can tell whether your love is true or not.

All that
I no longer feel the need to view the wonders of this place through the lens of a camera. (Oh don't worry, plenty of pictures will still be taken), but to snap a photo everytime you see the "picturesque Paris street" or amazing view of the Siene or the Eiffel tower, you'd never put your camera down.

All that to say, I think I'm learning how to simply live here. To soak up the wonder of a moment; to simply breathe in and out. To come out of the Concorde metro station when the sun is setting and the beaty knocks the wind out of you and to simply be able to mumble "Thank you God for your creation"

I'm sorry this is such a sporadic post...I should probably title it "the random midnight thoughts of Jessisca Wright" Haha...but hopefully there's something in here that makes at least a little sense...
Talk to you all soon.
All my love!